new york craigslist > fairfield > missed connections
Danbury appliance installers - m4m - 35 (Danbury/Brookfield)
Date: 2008-04-29, 1:24PM EDT

You guys are the hottest things I ever saw in my kitchen–especially the boss. If you or your brother (or both) want a quick, discreet stress release during the daytime just get in touch.

new york craigslist > brooklyn > missed connections
n local train saturday night - m4m - 24 (manhattan to brooklyn)
Date: 2008-04-28, 12:16AM EDT

you were on your computer for a little bit, then you fell asleep. i thought you were damn cute, and snapped a picture before i got off. let me know if this finds you.

…………………………………

new york craigslist > brooklyn > missed connections
ponytail rican kid w sidekick ID, Sun nite 8:15, J & F train - m4m - 24 (J & F trains bk 2 manhtn)
Date: 2008-04-27, 11:31PM EDT

yo son! we was bustin up about dat crackhead beeyotch askin 4 money on the J train. u was spittin mad game n i was feelin it. why didnt u get off at 2nd ave w me? u def need 2 hit me back on this. get at ur braided homie! lets hang
yo this was sun nite at 8:15

medford
Free Poison Oak starts
Date: 2008-03-08, 9:59PM PST

Free if you remove, must take all. Nice variety of vining, brushy and low-lying ground cover plants. These are drought resistant and turn beautiful colors in the fall.

Have pesky neighbors that cut through your yard? These plants leave unwanted guests with more than a warm-fuzzy feeling. Get these planted now before its too dry to replant.

Not responsible for death, injury or costly medical bills, remove at your own risk. Planting these in someone else’s yard is the equivalent of chemical warfare and violates the Geneva convention and violators should be prepared to face the ramifications..

illustration { Ken Keirns }

new york craigslist > brooklyn > men seeking women
KERMIT SEEKS PIGGY
Date: 2008-04-19, 2:26PM EDT

(…)

Some time ago, I found an original full head rubber Miss Piggy mask, circa 1977, complete with a full head of long blond hair. I am looking for a tall, sexy BBW, preferably over 300 pounds, to wear this mask to bed. She should also be open to playing with plastic wrap and liquid latex. Blonde is best, I suppose, but not necessary. Who knows – for the right woman I might just get a green rubber suit and a Kermit mask.

new york craigslist > brooklyn > missed connections
metro north broken ticket machine - w4w - 22 (tarrytown to nyc)
Date: 2008-04-21, 2:32AM EDT

Hi…u were adorable short hair nose ring and determination…the ticket machine was broken and u used your nice voice to convince the ticket collector to not charge u full price…I had my hair in a ponytail wearing a black and blue blazer with my friend. I shouldve asked for your number…
Mindy

milwaukee craigslist > computer services
Personal Digital Shopper Available (Milwaukee)
Date: 2008-04-07, 3:24AM CDT

Are you a busy professional that doesn’t have time to download all your favorite music, films and television shows? Do you have a newly purchased lap top or external hard drive just sitting there, mocking you with the plethora of entertainment that could be contained there within? Do you often times find yourself embarrassed around friends and co-workers when you are clueless about the latest big thing?

If any of these are the case, then my services are definitely meant for you. Using your computer and internet service, I will download whatever you tell me and suggest more than a few that I believe you would like. I will fill that space for you, I will find the films. I will get you back up to speed with pop culture for a fraction of the price of purchasing it new. You will come home, exhausted from work and you will find the whole world there, just waiting for you on that flickering screen.

I charge by the hour or by the gig and will only download from sites and services legal in the US. Also, I can help out with limited installation: hooking the computer up to the TV, sound systems, etc; anything that doesn’t involve drilling.

In this fast paced, modern world there is a lot to keep up with, I can help you.

new york craigslist > manhattan > missed connections
You helped me to move in some stuff - m4m - 25 (Roosevelt Island)
Date: 2008-04-14, 8:29AM EDT

I was picking up a sofa from you.

You are super hot.

photo { Hiroki Tanabe, architect }

new york craigslist > manhattan > missed connections
pizza parlor across from dorrian’s - w4m - 24 (Upper East Side)
Date: 2008-03-22, 3:05PM EDT

my friends and i came in with the bum. we talked about how we hate dorian’s and like fresh pizza. then we walked you home, which was a little awkward…

p.s. my friend is looking for the bum, if you know him. email us.

related { The nation’s largest pizza chains are being hammered by sluggish sales and runaway ingredient costs. It’s a bad time to be in a business where two of the main ingredients are cheese and dough. Dairy and wheat prices have skyrocketed in the last year. | NY Times | Continue reading }

photo { Philip-Lorca diCorcia }

new york craigslist > brooklyn > missed connections
Where is Swifty Burlap
Date: 2008-03-22, 1:34PM EDT

We got a real strong need ta find dis guy, see? Poisonal bidness, get me?

Foidamore, ennyone who helps us out, wit a woid fer us on dis Burlap character’s hideout, iz gonna earn hisself a lotta goodwill in dis nabe

Do yerself a favor and pipe up, iffen u got a lead on dis joker

On de utter hand, don’ waste your time tryin ta save ‘im. . he’z goin down a long lonely road, see? No sense followin afta ‘im, get me?

So be smart an tip us a wink!

related { JWT NY posts craigslist ads selling “pre-owned” Stride gum }

new york craigslist > manhattan > missed connections
re: DIESEL STORE IN UNION SQUARE, STORE MANAGER,… - m4m - 23 (Union Square)
Date: 2008-04-03, 5:22AM EDT

you wrote:

Lol! I have never done this but let’s give it a try.
I was the guy who needed help with the PGA number and was looking for J….e and since he went for lunch you helped me out. Just wanted to say you are very cute , and I would love to invite you for dinner after my trip. You helped me today around 200pm to 230pm. If you are the one ( I would be very lucky ) tell me what I was wearing or what I look like or anything we talked about and I will send a picture to make sure we are talking about the same person lol.

I think it will be fun.

M

——–

you know where the guy works (ie: where to find him) and his name. you’ve even interacted with him. this is not a missed connection. this is just cowardice.

why are you wasting your time here??? go after the guy.

this goes to all you guys who post on here, “you work at ____.” if you know where to find him, why are you waiting for him to find you(r post)? go get what might be yours, fools. carpe diem!

los angeles craigslist
i’m a producer dammit, why won’t women have sex with me?!
Date: 2008-03-05, 4:22PM PST

for the life of me, i can’t seem to figure out what’s going on here. i did all the things that i thought i was supposed to do to put myself in position to score ungodly amounts of hollywood poon. i got an undergrad degree in business from nyu. then i move to LA and complete the Peter Stark producing program at USC. while there i take full advantage of the networking and resume building connections that such an educational stint provides. i graduate and get a job with a major studio. i have a business card with my name on it. under my name is my job title.

“producer.”

so where are the legions of young starlets aching for me to tongue-fuck their puckered brown-eyes?

i mean, look, when i was 15 i read robert evans’ autobiography, “the kid stays in the picture.” there i was, short, mildly chubby, pimple-faced, cursed with a hideous jewfro, unable to get even a nut massage from the homeliest looking humans at horace mann in possession of vaginas, but i figured that if portly, profusely perspirating gasbags like don simpson can have bitches cat-fighting over who gets to blow the next rail off of his diseased cock, certainly i can get laid modestly well if i became a producer.

now i go out to parties and clubs and tell women that i’m a producer and they look at me as if i told them that i have fucking SARS! every night ends with me cruising pornotube at 3am in search of just the right clip to sufficiently inspire me to rub one out into a goldtoe nylon sock.

WTF?!

illustration { Sygnin }

new york craigslist > brooklyn > missed connections
older women - missed connection with reality - m4w
Date: 2008-04-02, 3:39AM EDT

For some reason, all of the older women I’ve been with (30s-50s) are sure that their breasts are sagging and droopy. News flash: the perkiest and firmest breasts I’ve ever seen were on an older woman. And women with larger breasts - if your breasts sag a bit, Guys are fine with that - Because you’ve got big tits! Big tits sag on younger girls, too.

So, enjoy! And know that we do, too.

photo { Nikola Tamindzic }