‘To win the fame baby, it’s all the same baby.’ –Michael Jackson
I don’t know where to begin. I didn’t read Homer’s Iliad. But i read “the Odyssey,” the sequel. A long time ago. I believe that at the end of the Iliad, Ulysses leaves Troy to return home to Ithaca, where his family and his fans are waiting. The trip (the “odyssey”) takes almost 10 years during which he meets (a) junkies, (b) Circe who turns men into swines, (c) alluring rowdy creatures who turn out to be killers (half bird half lesbian internationally known as “the sirens”), (d) john rambo-esque giants with unpronounceable names, (e) etc, and (f) Calypso, a sea-nymph interested in witchcraft who used to have a career in porn jacking off sea elephants before focusing on wanabe heroes. All bitches when not creeps, with the notable exception of (g) Nausicaa, who is awesome and will ultimately save Ulysses.
I got interested in Calypso (from the Greek kalupso, “i will conceal”)—technically the second main character of the book given the arithmetic fact that on a 9 year-trip, Ulysses spends 7 years in captivity on Calypso’s island.
Calypso falls in love with Ulysses, and like Terence Stamp in The Collector, she entertains and tries to seduce him, to force his love. It doesn’t work. Ulysses isn’t interested. “I want to move the hell out” are the only words he knows. It seems it’ll take a bigger effort to have him for ever, and to be loved in return.
Notwithstanding the lack of reciprocity, and, even more depressing, Ulysses’ bad graces, Calypso’s libido doesn’t fade, or even plateau, she wants him so bad, he’s so handsome and veiny…
By the way, for his trip back home, Ulysses would have to sail and face the crowded seas, the lures and troubles and dangers and attacking freaks, he would have to risk his life, to get into a lot of “does god exist?” kind of games. On the other hand, on Calypso’s island, he’s safe.
However, this assured safety proved insufficient to decide Ulysses’ love, as were the entertaining sessions. Perhaps a bonus package would make matters easier? One dreaded sunny day, Calypso stakes it all and offers immortality to Ulysses, and she adds eternal youth, on top of abundance of love, seaside dinners, star gazing, music… (clearly Homer had access to decent mdma.)
Are you starting to get the picture? (maybe someone’s going to read this and think, “I can totally relate”) (1) staying young for ever, but staying with Calypso for ever too (you gotta be in it to win it!), or (2) risking your life to go back home, and reunite with your wife.
What needs to be underlined here is that as soon as Ulysses gets back to Ithaca, he’ll be celebrated as a hero, he’ll be worshiped (for his victory over Troy, the trojan horse, etc). And we know that the laws of megalomania suggest that being admired by a crowd is a strong plus.
Now, draw a line in the sand. Immortality/mortality. In the current context, accepting immortality means staying on that island, which means being hidden from the world, “concealed” (hence Calypso’s name), which equals being invincible and eternally young, maybe happy, but with nobody except Calypso knowing about it. It means being forgotten, ending up Nobody. Goodbye hero’s career (heroes’ exploits must be known in order to be praised). It’s starting to look like a really bad deal. And so of course Ulysses refuses, and chooses death (one day he’ll die) over being immortal. What matters to him, is being immortal in people’s mind, in books, in History. Not on that island, not only in Calypso’s eyes.
Celebrity the new drug.
It sounds weird, but if you want to be eternal, accepting immortality from a sea-slut should be at the very bottom of your list.
Ulysses: “I’m glad someone invented death.”
Personally, I wouldn’t mind being dead to the entire universe if instead i was immortal on my little island, in total boredom with my calypso-loving-dude. But maybe that’s just me.
{ stereohell }
photo { Dennis Stenild | S Magazine, 1 }
